Is the girlboss phrase doing more harm than good?

It’s a phrase that is thrown around a lot. Like, you are the best because you are a girlboss. It has the energy of “because you are a girlboss, you are killing it”. And I’m worried about how this is damaging to women that are not CEO’s in business, running their own business or the men that are also working their arses off.

Where’s the #boyboss movement?

Men aren’t praised for what they do nearly as much as women because it’s an expectation in society. And whilst you may say ‘well women do more!”… I’m not denying that we juggle a family, a job, being a lover, a friend etc. but what about the women that want to just be a stay at home mum? Where is their badge of honour?

Society has flipped itself on its head where now if you are a traditional family of the man being the breadwinner and the woman being a stay at home mum, somehow you are not a girlboss. What’s alarming to me is that some women really want to be a stay at home mum. That’s what lights them up and some women do want to just work. Both are ok, and we need to stop idolising one as being ‘better.’

In my opinion, we also need to praise men for the hard work that they do. The long hours, slaving away at their desks also serve attention and admiration. The pressure that is on their shoulders is huge right now. In modern society they are trying to ensure they say the right things in the workplace and that none of their words can be twisted, make a load of money to support their partner and family, and also try and understand where the fuck they fit in.

Remember that men’s role in society used to be defined as fuck. They were our providers and now what’s their role? Women can now have their own babies, make their own money, have their own orgasms etc. So men are confused as fuck and when you try to be EVERYTHING all the time, putting yourself into the #girlboss category, not only can you be dishonouring your feminine desires, but you are also burning yourself out and possibly not letting men into your life.

I’m not saying don’t be a #girlboss. I run my own company as you know, I’m as fiery as they come, passionate, loud, have a New York city soul and enjoy the adrenaline rush of skiing a million miles down a mountain. And, I let my man be the man. I let him lead, I follow. I let him make decisions (unless I actually want to make the decision which is rare), I let him choose the place for dinner, I let him open the door for me. Not because of any other reason than it brings me joy to receive from him. I enjoy being able to relax and surrender in his presence. When you are running the show during the work day, you want to come home and relax.

“I let my man lead. Not because of any other reason than it brings me joy to receive from him.”

I honour my feminine desires. I want to be a mum. I don’t want to only have work success because it feed my ego and the title of a #girlbboss. I’m also the soft woman inside that just enjoys being wrapped in the arms of a man. That’s it. It’s as simple as that.

So, if you are a man working your ass off, you’re amazing.

If you are a stay at home mum, you’re amazing.

If you are running your own business or you are a CEO in a big company, you’re amazing.

None of those is better than the other. Society says that women running the business is “SHE’S KILLING IT” and whilst yes, she is, be careful of the subliminal messaging of ‘she’s better than others not doing this.”

The #girlboss culture glorifies the hustle, the emasculation of men, the overactive femist movement and the slaving over your desk at the expense of your social life. This is NOT the vibe.

Whatever makes you happy is the thing to do. And if other people are happy, then they are killing it. Your friend making a million dollars is NOT better than the friend that’s looking after the kids. Your feminine wants to slow down, enjoy life, lay in bed, drink hot tea, have long baths and nurture. She’s not made for long days, pulling-your-hair-out stress and 10 coffees a day. Passion is different to hustle. You can be passionate without killing yourself. You can make a million dollars a year and have a bath at 11am.

Monica Yates is a trauma healer, feminine/masculine embodiment coach and period whisperer. Monica is also the podcast host of Feminine As F*ck, editor of UNEDITED magazine and an influencer. At the age of only 25, she has built a name for herself as an expert within this realm, as well as a million dollar company. Her mission is to help women clear trauma so they can step into their magnetic feminine energy, as well as help men feel ecstasy and intimacy in the bedroom.